Motherfucking Sharks Characters ¼ eBook PDF or Kindle ePUB

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Motherfucking Sharks Characters ¼ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB ´ Where I come from the children sing a songOh the motherfucking sharks; Oh they're gonna come to townOh they're gonna kill the babies; Oh they're gonna make you drowned in your bloodOh the motherfucking sharks; Oh they're gonna mince the fleshThey're gonna swim Bout the godsAnd they don't care about the familiesAnd they don't care about the cries or tears they're killersMotherfucking sharksMotherfucking sharksMotherfucking sharksMotherfucking sharks. Sharks said Crick motherfucking sharks Their eyes the shape of murderers' intentions and their mouths filled with these Crick walked to the back of the wagon and dragged a tether from hand to hand until he'd pulled a shark jaw into his grip and he held it aloft for Mom to see Teeth he said teeth as he stuttered teeth as sharp as razor bladesMom eyed the jaw I don't follow she saidCrick clenched his free fist tight Motherfucking sharks he saidpp 4 5 MOTHERFUCKING SHARKSWhat that's not good enough Sheesh you people Fine I'll do it properStranger comes to town leading a winking mule and a wagon full of harpoons and sharks' jaws juggling the skulls of his family and delivering a warning of what's to come There's a storm on its way and it's full of sharks Motherfucking sharks The kind that rise from puddles after the rain and swim through air fucking whole towns up Like the ones in that Doctor Who episode only they can't be sung to sleep Motherfucking sharks gonna fuck you upSo of course he's locked up for a crazy and everybody dies It's pretty awesome Glorious fucking prose I read great bloody chunks of this book aloud to myself and alone with no children present so stop worrying but this really needs a gravely voiced old cowboy slurring his words from the other end of the bar to do it justice Warning violence And sharks Also blood and gore and dead toddlers and brief interrupted incest and a particularly gruesome death by shark near the end that was worse than all the others you'll know which one I mean when you read it but if you make it that far into the book it's kind of par for the course Motherfucking sharks Awesome way to start the New Year I read Vampire Conditions last January but it won't take me that long to read Brian Carr's other books Happy fucking 2014 everyoneBonus excerpt for the curious behind the cut view spoilerOn the ground near a puddle its face the smell of chocolate a toddler toddlesSee this friend eyes green cheeks alight with joy Blonde hair only ever so slightly feathered by breeze A giggle A tummy laugh You ever touched a toddler's tummy It feels like suede wrapped heaven It smells like milk and hugs and handshakes from God You see this little boy This little white boy If it hurts you to see a black boy die then make him black in your mind I don't care what it looks like so long as you're uncomfortable Instead reader do this Picture for me if you will the child you love the most Hold it in your head Dress it with the form you'd least like to see killed In this way we have always been a team I tell you a thing but you spin it real in your head So I won't tell you everything Hell make it a girl Make it your own Give me a child Put it in your mind Put it by a puddle Put joy in its heart I'm going to fuck it up I'm going to unleash a magical shark on it I'm going to turn that precious thing into a bucket of death shaped the way that hurts you most Put that fucking child by that fucking puddle and let me kill the fuck out of it I will strip its skin from its body toss chunks of it at you like strips of bacon Your baby Make the fucking baby I want to kill the fucking baby you've made in your mind Is it there Is it the babyNow up comes the sharkp 79 Good enough for ya Good Now get readin' hide spoiler

Download ↠ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB Ä Brian Allen Carr

Herfucking sharks; Oh they're gonna mince the fleshThey're gonna swim up and surround you; Don't you know you'll never pass the test it's overOh the motherfucking sharks; Oh they don't care a. WE HAVE A FLOATER Just in time for shark week So you’ve read the reviews Motherfucking Sharks is “awesome” it’s “magical” it’s “funny” it’s “gory” it’s “motherfucking brilliant” True all true But there’s something else about this story something special something beautiful This story is like a fairy tale and to me fairy tales have always been weird as fuck and scary as hell This story is like a reversal of the Pied Piper of Hamelin A stranger comes to town and brings his weird as fuck and scary as hell tale of the Motherfucking Sharks Read these excerpts and you decide whether to follow the piper into the story or sit idly by and miss your chance to be devoured by Carr and his Motherfucking Sharks About Crick He carried a bouuet of roses ahead of him as though the flowers cast light and he traversed dark stained wilderness but the sun brightened all things the moment he arrived Less than a day later the great orange orb seemed pulled behind blankets of gangrenous flesh dead to the world that lay prone to the flood from the rain but when Crick appeared he had to thin his eyes at the strength of life’s shine About Sharks The shark is a murderer but it’s an honest one It is killing you or you are alive The human can kill you a million times in its imagination while pouring you a glass of water If you don’t believe me get a job waiting tables About Shark Puddles Outside the sun dries the wet of the world back toward the medicinal blue of heaven’s expanse begging the land away from its state of recent flooding and shivering of sharks swim rampant through the trees and streets gone red with the spilled human blood Crimson drops bloom oddly through the murky rain puddles the color of caramel About the Rain Rain According to Scraw I’m gonna hold my hand out the window and catch some of God’s tears and drink them If the water I catch is salty well the rain is God’s tears for certainRain According to Crick Fuck the rain and fuck this weird guy with his hand out the window Rain According to YouWrite your own story about the rainRain According to Mom The juggler he was right about the rain but I just can’t believe he’s right about the sharks The Rain Stops Soul shaped hands seek heaven shaped promises to hold and hold onto even as the storm douses the streets until they bulge like blisters – the girth of them puny against the eternity of the flood Motherfucking Sharks Some things go so against the line of logic we’ve branded hot on our brains that their impressions on our minds echo with madness and are rejected spat away and even if you look twice you still don’t believe it I was mesmerized by Carr’s writing I was devoured by his words I was led away by his story And in the end I was amazed how strange and beautiful his story was even through all its weirdness They say he who pays the piper calls the tune Carr definitely calls the tune with this one

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Motherfucking SharksWhere I come from the children sing a songOh the motherfucking sharks; Oh they're gonna come to townOh they're gonna kill the babies; Oh they're gonna make you drowned in your bloodOh the mot. Dafa 😵So this traveler is wandering around from town to town warning people about the impending storm which brings not only a barrage of rain and thunder it brings motherfucking sharks 🦈I will try as hard as I can to write this review without giving too much away Okay so if this book were a movie it would be the euivalent of Snakes on a Plane I say this because Samuel L Jackson would have to be in it given the title and the language used and because the book has just about as much storyline as that film did Let's face it Deep Blue Sea had a lot going for it 😋What makes this book even fascinating to me is that it is set in rural country and as far as I can tell it is the old west as they talk about horse thieving and hanging people and the sheriff's building No the answer to your uestion is it is not set anywhere near an ocean or body of water at all Then how can there be sharks you ask me I will answer it the way it does so elouently in the book fucking magicThe writing is definitely told in an old western style as if you were sitting playing cards and drinking with somebody in an old saloon and they were telling you the story The author also takes time out to talk to the reader from time to time I feel that if this was an audiobook it should be narrated by Sam ElliottWas it good Was it bad It was certainly ugly Lots of gore and sex for such a small book Not that those things are really ugly to the horror fan but still I have to say I have been on an MST3K Mystery Science Theater 3000 binge this past week and I would very much have enjoyed watching this with Tom Servo Jona and Crooow I think this made into movie form would have definitely fit the bill for this show So would I recommend this book That's a hard uestion to answer I think this is one of those books that you just have to take a motherfucking chance and read it for yourself 😁