eBook ¾ Loose Girl A Memoir of Promiscuity µ Paperback

ePub Loose Girl A Memoir of Promiscuity

eBook ¾ Loose Girl A Memoir of Promiscuity µ Paperback é Kerry Cohen's journey from that hopeless place to her current confident and fulfilled existence is both a cautionary tale and a revelation Loose Girl is Kerry Cohen's captivating memoir about her descent into promiscuity and how she gradually found her way toKerry Cohen's journey from that hopeless place to her current confident and fulfilled existence is both a cautionary tale and a revelation Loose Girl is Kerry Cohen's captivating memoir about her descent into promiscuity and how she gradually found her way toward real intimacy The story of For everyone who was that girl For everyone who knew that girl You know That girl Well it says you do right on the back of the book so it has to be true RightKerry Cohen wants us all to believe that that girl the slutty girl who slept with your boyfriend you know the one is just misunderstood She's not slutty because she wants to be; she's slutty because she has a deep seated need a void and the only way she can fill it is by seeking and getting male attention Problem is it only works in the short term Most guys are well adept at weeding these girls out So the void remains and that girl is back on the prowl before her panties come out of the dryer Kerry Cohen wants us to believe that going from lover to lover to lover is an addiction It's an addiction to a certain feeling or non feeling that she gets from sex It's an addiction to the power that comes from making someone want you Addiction to the rush And I guess for her it is Or was Or is See I'm not sure because on the back of the book it says she found her way toward real intimacy But I'm not so sure she did Because she was pretty slutty right up to the end Then she has what a couple of months of not fucking anyone Then she meets her fiancĂ© and doesn't have sex with him right away THIS IS HUGE cough And they get married 8 months later I call bullshit See that doesn't sound like healing to me Had she gone a year or so on her own no random encounters with dudes she meets in bars maybe then I would have bought her story of finding her way to toward real intimacy But as it stands I'm thinking all of those insecurities are right underneath the surface ready to pounce the next time she's feeling down on herself I could be wrongI can't help wondering why when Ms Cohen writes about her own promiscuity it comes from a place of shame where as Tucker Max is downright proud of his harlotry One man's virtue is another woman's vice I supposeEither way the story is engaging She is completely balls out in her approach; she keeps nothing hidden from the reader But then it just sort of ends without any real ending Where's the third act How has what she learned about herself affected the way she interacts with her spouse the way she parents her children the way she relates to her family of origin now Girl you should have given us a little bit As it stands it fell flat

Kerry Cohen Ï Loose Girl A Memoir of Promiscuity book

Addiction not just to sex but to male attention Loose Girl is also the story of a young girl who came to believe that boys and men could give her life meaning Never less than riveting Loose Girl re creates what it feels like to be in that desperate moment when a girl tries to control a boy It's a challenge not to judge the character of someone who writes such a revealing and vulnerable memoir but I'll do my best to stick to my views on the book not my opinions of the author whether I saw myself in her or what she should have done It's somewhat awkward when she comments on her own writing ability as none of her characters come to life Either her friends are known only by name or a man is identified by his sexy eyes and hair often long and tousled Is Eli scrawny athletic and fit or of average build I'm certain if I were marking up the book for a class I'm certain I could locate the passages where she directly contradicts her previous descriptions it's no problem to have your regard for someone change as you get to knt them and become fond of them but she should at least have noted how her opinion of him had changed over time The first and only time we realize Eli is simply too handsome is when Norah states it nowhere else do you get the impression he's anything but a dorky guy with an out of date hairstyle and a round face She notes several times how awful she feels about having put guys over her friendships but she doesn't ever develop these friend characters to convince the reader they really are true friends Having someone to party with or gossip to doesn't make them a friend She complains how she could never be herself with the three Jennifer's yet bemoans the loss of their friendship I have to wonder if she knows a true friend when she finds one Bevin being the only obvious friend she had in the book I was also struck by the sense her therapist in college Dierdre was a composite character It's rare when you're being helped by those finishing up their masters or have an internship at a college to see the same therapist for than one year No this isn't a big problem that she may have fused various therapists into one but it did prevent her from making Dierdre into a real character making her comments and responses to Kerry's struggles consistent and make it clear where her insights came from when in truth I couldn't understand at all what Dierdre was getting at Obviously Kerry has gone through a lot of counseling both as a client and in getting her masters in counseling therapy but none of this progress is shown in the bookThis in turn makes it difficult to believe that Kerry expresses from the outset theories about her poor self image that are most likely the result of significant therapy She says numerous times that she knew at heart she was unlovable but this doesn't strike me as a belief a person would simply come upon by introspection Rather such a core issue would likely follow years of fruitless guessing as to why she can't find a good boyfriend Is my nose too big Am I too fat Am I too short Tall Am I too serious Do I not dress well enough The realization that none of these is the root of her troubles would come only after disproving one by one each of these attempts at fixing her problems unsuccessfully People in bad relationships don't jump to the conclusion I must be unlovable They tend to focus on specific issues Such phrases come only from years of therapy which is fine but she shouldn't present it as if it were obvious that was her core issue On a similar note I uestioned the finality with which she made many of her declarations Obviously I should have tended to Eli's hangover put a damp towel on his forehead obvious to whom At another point she concludes that anyone who sleeps with strangers while not intoxicated but fully conscious of their decisions is obviously a slut I have to uestion that Whether she truly believes this or not it's a statement that speaks to how others may regard you than a definite truthSPOILER WARNINGUnfortunately I came to doubt her story that she was a regular at Dorrian's where Robert Chambers freuented No this isn't because I doubt all memoirists and I do believe she'd at least seen Chambers at Dorrian's where she may have gone a couple times but I can't believe she went there as regularly as she said she did For one she notes how the girls there wear cocktail dresses yet she never mentions what she wore how she felt induced to go on a shopping spree to meet the standards of the perfect girls at Dorrian's I wouldn't expect her to mention what she wore if she didn't refer at other times to wearing jeans and t shirts however sexy she wants us to imagine they fit her And when later she went to a party at Columbia and was shocked to find the females in cocktail dresses I thought well why should she be surprised Sure noyt every scene in New York dresses up but if she'd been a regular at Dorrian's she would have at least considered it a possibility that this party was one such affair Finally the ending was disconcertingly hasty I didn't mind that she left it ambiguous whether she was cured of her desire to seek validation from men by getting their sexual interest but I wish she could have made her future partner substantial not just presented him as a very empathetic guy but shown what else they had in common Was she planning to marry the guy decent guy who came along To me that isn't the bass for a lifetime partnership Had she focused on her interactions with one male as Toni Bentley did in Surrender perhaps Kerry Cohen would have also failed in making him a three dimensional character that is no than a caricature Or had Cohenraced through her sexual encounters as did Catherine M in her own sexual memoir with a complete lack of insight into her own motives or longings perhaps this book would have been less frustrating however less human But as it is Cohen is self aware to a certain degree and does make a great attempt at psychological awareness and what results is a murky middle ground between Bentley's obsessive focus on sex and Catherine M's disturbing lack of emotion So why three stars Because Cohen did unsettle me with her stories which are all too painful and recognizable She did make me uestion my own behavior and choice and my constant search for male approval And for that she should be commended This is a painful book to read but however flawed well worth the time Anyone who identified with Kerry's experiences should definitely read Surviving a Borderline Parent How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds Build Trust Boundaries and Self Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman 2003 No I don't get a commission by recommending it it is a very valuable tool for those who've grown up with self absorbed parents who put their own needs before those of their children

text õ Loose Girl A Memoir of Promiscuity Ï Kerry Cohen

Loose Girl A Memoir of PromiscuityBy handing over her body when the touch of that boy seems to offer proof of something but ultimately delivers little than emptiness The unforgettable story of one young woman who desperately wanted to matter Loose Girl will speak to countless others with its compassion understanding and lov Reading this book was kind of hard going especially at first I don't want to give the indication that the writing was bad; it was actually really good but that was part of why it was hard to get through Kerry Cohen's matter of fact narration of her teenage years and the way she spared nothing in her uest for attention and approval from boys is unflinching and sometimes it's hard to make it through the harsh stories she tells especially when she describes with clarity and detail the feelings of need and desire that lay under the surface for her throughout these experiences I actually put the book down for longer than a week on two separate occasions both times because I just didn't feel like I could take any of the book's bleaknessHowever towards the end when Kerry started to pull herself together recognize the bad behavior patterns she had and work towards changing them I started to feel a bit better about the story I was reading Even though I didn't have that much fun reading a lot of this book I think it was uite well written succeeding in its effort to place the reader inside the mind of the titular loose girl a teenaged and later twentysomething girl who sought affirmation in sex often from men who didn't care about her and treated her like an object And it was probably good for me to read it too because even though I didn't recognize myself in Kerry's methods of dealing with her own feelings of emptiness and insignificance I saw a lot of myself in those feelings There was a point towards the end of the book when Kerry started talking about her desire to be a writer and how she wasn't working towards it instead focusing all her energy on her boyfriend She said I'm wasting my life on this man and I realized that I myself do a lot of the same things waste my life on constantly worrying about whether or not I'm in a relationship and when I'm in one focusing on it to the exclusion of all of my other goals in life Thankfully I've never gone the route of freuent meaningless sex but I've done plenty of things that were just as damaging in my own way In the end even though I'm a shy boy instead of a loose girl I saw a lot of myself in this book It may not be a fun read but it's definitely a worthwhile read even for those whose experiences are very different than those of Kerry Cohen